How "Big" is your ride?

I think of my "ride" at the Ronald McDonald House as being big, and it was. Probably bigger than what happens to most people. But when I was in that little community of friends and stories people were sharing, mine was so tiny. There are so many things that can happen to you. One girl, named Brittany Wilkinson, was there when I was there. I didn't know why she was there. I just remembered her as the girl in the wheel chair with the dog. Well, it turns out, she has Mitochondrial disease. She was there and she knew she was going to die. Whoa. That's bigger than me. That's huge. On September 6, 2009, (after I left) Brittany passed away.





She, and everyone else at the Ronald McDonald House, my generous Aunt, my mother, father, stepmother, sister, and everyone else who helped me when I was receiving a kidney are my role model.

Differences between the two Greens

I think it is ironic that the modern term of "green" means environmentally friendly, while money is also referred to as "green." The two "greens" are very different.




Which "green" is more important to you? Why?

Must-See movies

Movies are also a form of inspiration for me. Here are some must-see movies. Different movies go for different feelings. If you want something funny to see, you should watch the Proposal. While if you want a love story, go with Pride and Prejudice. Into the Wild and Avatar are my all time favorite movies. There in some ways different, but in some ways similar.

Inspiration

One of my favorite things is not a material thing. One of my favorite things is inspiration. Inspiration comes from anything you want it to come from. Mostly for me, it is a song or if I spend a day out in nature. It's amazing how a song, a place, or even a certain smell can make you feel. If you listened to a song while you were somewhere that you either loved or hated, it'll atomatically make you feel like you're there. Even doing things. When I was first in the hospital this summer, getting my H.D. catheter in, I played a lot of Webkinz games. Now when ever I play them I feel as if I am in the hospital room. This doesn't bring good--or bad feelings (its very hard to explain)



Whenever I am in nature, I feel the need to draw it. It's my way of expressing my feelings. I want my paintings and sketches to reach out to people and have them feel the inspiration that I had while drawing. I try to draw things that have to do with my experiences, to show people what I'm like.

You'd think a person like me would be okay with blood and stuff like that--NO WAY! I am the most anti-blood person you could meet. I would never never never be a surgeon, or even a doctor, at that. Anything having to do with blood creeps me out because I know how needles and pokes feel. You mention one thing about any sort of port, tube, needle, or catheter and I cringe. Even just now, I was looking up any sort of picture I could put on this post, and I typed in "dialysis" on Google, and I just can't bear it!

A lot has happened in my life, in just a short period of time. Time moves so fast, and good, bad, horrible, terrible, exciting, thrilling, and devastating things can and will happen that will change your life forever. What has happened to you? For me, the risk of losing my freedom is always there to haunt me if I don't take care of myself. If I don't take my medicine, drink the correct amount of water, and follow up on anything new or different about the way I feel to my doctors, I could loose my kidney, and lose my freedom because I would have to go back on dialysis. Dialysis--you'd never, ever know what that's like until you've had it. I am actually proud to say I lived through a month of dialysis, and successfully got off of it. What has happened to you? What are you proud of? Think about it.

(Picture taken by my sis, me on dialysis)

Need a Smile?

Confinement--You can break free

How was your day today? Today has been a very good day for me. This morning I went to the Farmer's Market in downtown Pleasanton with my mom, my sister, and her friend. We got various fruits and vegetables that we know were grown with love and in the correct way--because the farmer was right there! Then, my mom and I went to Alden Lane Nursery in Livermore, where there are many hills. As my mom and I were taking in all the beautiful hills (so clear because of the rain), my mom looks over, and yells, "Look at that Rainbow!" I looked over and it was the most spectacular rainbow I (and my mom) had ever seen. It was a complete red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple, arching over the hills to the left of us. It was practically coming out of the earth. I then opened the window, seeing it more clearly, and feeling cold wind and wet raindrops on my face. The first thing that came to my mind was how amazing and great I felt. Then, I thought about how people who or in the hospital, and even just everyday people who lose sight of what really matters (Life itself) are confined indoors or strapped down to work, phones, email, Twitter, Facebook, and so many other electronics. It makes me sick to think that people don't care about the most wonderful thing: Nature. You have the ability to go outside and experience. A lot of people in the world don't get that ability.

I remember when I was in the hospital and I finally got the opportunity to go "outside" (which was really just on the balcony of the hospital). It was of course nice to be out, but it was a big disappointment as well. I could see all the buildings of Palo Alto. I felt like I was so close, yet so far. It is the worst feeling to not be in control. It didn't matter what I did, how I acted, what I said, how much I cried, how much I screamed. My enjoyment of being let free from that horrible place depended on the doctor's decision, and my health. You probably don't realize that that terrible memory of mine is happening to children and adults everyday--some thinking they may never get to go outside again. You can. You can. You can go outside. You can do those things. You never know what can happen to you, or someone you love, so you should always live in the moment, and experience the good things in life. Go start living.